Finding Peace in Life

University

2006-10-13T07:41:00.000+08:00

Finally in university. 3 weeks into my 3 Year Law Degree! whoopee:) living my dream, u'd say. It's all been really really good. Spent a whole load of money I don't really have.. so yeap-screwed!:P I've got 4 modules this semester- Contract, Constitution, Tort, English Legal System. The 1st day we went for our lecture-the lecturer basically told us to forget EVERYTHING tht we've studied in A-Level Law. Haha.. which really is good on my part even though I DID law- i just dont bloody remember anything anyways! So all the better to CONVENIENTLY forget everything;) Everyone here is really friendly and my flatmates are mint! Building mates as well! Hehe:D Parties and hangin out with em are always a blast! Though u have no idea how much cash you've gotta throw:P

Looking for part time jobs at the moment. Need it! SO SO SO skint, u won't believe it. Never felt this poor in my entire life:( Basically, besides earning expenditure allowance and accommodation fees.. gotta save up to pay for uni fees dued in february again:P bloody 4500pounds:( Sigh... but anyways... went for 2 interviews today. 3 HOUR LONG interviews! I felt like hanging myself at the end of both of them! It was sooo mentally draining! They basically ask ALL the questions one can actually conjure up! And me being DAFT decided to give the best impression I could, answering each and every one with all attentiveness and FULL consideration.GAWD. one word-HARSH!

Everything at stupid university is bloody money money money:( yeah.. when it comes to the financial side-uni's STUPID! lol. sigh... sorry I'm just being a scrouge-though I can't really be, since I don't HAVE the money to be stingy about! lol:P sorry for moaning! But gotta get it out of my system:P Talked to flatmates about the jobs-they reckoned that if I take either of them up-it would deprive me off uni life, as I won't be able to hangout with them, go for society socials/gatherings/sports training and all that. But I can't NOT work.. and if I don't do something that offers me maximum hours I can work- I won't be able to earn enough:( Sigh... I guess I just can't win.

Mmm... I'm basically living my dream and doing everything I've always used as inspiration in the past- it's supposed to be really fun, PEACHY and lovey dovey. But honestly, I dont know if its the stress or whatever else, somehow... I'm just not getting the HAPPY vibe:( All I feel is pressure, stress and a simple word would probably be-depression:( Sometimes I wonder, when are my struggles and challenges ever going to end? But I do try to remind myself that at least I HAVE a life to struggle with... more over that than not have one at all. Sorry for all the frowns. It's on almost every other line eh?:P I'll get through this, like I always do. Somehow, God will find a way for me:) There u go- a smile:) And another!

I'm going to sign off and brood over problems again..until fatigue finally catches up:)
Apologies for such a pessimistic update... u'd think a report on uni life would've been all honeysuckle and pies eh? :P
Notice it's not coloured either...

David

2006-08-06T02:34:00.000+08:00

Mm.. about time for an update? Haha
I was (actually, i AM) really inspired by this fella I met the other day. His name is David. He's a kindred spirit, is David:) David just went through a bone marrow transplant and is now recuperating. With God's grace, will definitely be healthy and back in business again! He is a really witty, strong and steadfast guy. But anyhow, he is blogging every single day of his battle against his leukaemia, which coincidentally is the same as mine!(erm well... I guess I share a lot of erm.. coincidences with others as well since AML, acute myeloid leukaemia, is more common than u think!keke) aite.. so DAVID (always straying frm the main subject.. sowee!:P), he's been so strong and so optimistic throughout his transplant days, which is SO different from my lousy experience. FAR CRY really. everyday he starts his blog with "I'm fine today" or "I'm well today". Yeah well.. he should really just blog once with the words "I'm going to be fine and well everyday" and save him the blog space in his everyday blogs. hehe. kiddin. but seriously, how optimistic can one get? *SALUTE!* AND the best thing about him is.. he can really find things to do ALONE and isolated in a tiny room (reason being-his immune system is at its pits.. so gotta stay in as sterile a place as possible), and he doesnt even complain! Gawd.. I would have SERIOUSLY gone bonkers. no kiddin. sigh.. David, you're DA MAN! really hope he'll pull through with ease and live the life he deserves (he's got a fantastic family-wife,kids,siblings and all!) as well as succeed in all he does cos I'm pretty sure he will, when given the chance;)
Anyhow.. ok.. MY BLOG. MY STORY! ahahhaa. (how much more self centered can one get?blek!) lol. my blog, I get to call the shots! keke. mmm.. right, so last u heard of me, I was back in Malaysia.. abt to get back to the UK to FINALLY start my degree? Right. not that much has happened since then to be perfectly honest. Yes yes.. my life isn't all that hot and happening. lol. though I'll bet it's still much more interesting than some!;) keke. right.. let's try not to stray from the topic again:P ugh.
I'm currently back in the UK. Got back about 4 weeks ago or so. My trip back to Malaysia for a month has been EVERYTHING but bad. yes, it has been utterly PERFECT. yuppers. I had an awesome month. Went back to Kuching.. spent some really quality time with dad. He's opened up to me so much more and we can actually have a conversation!! yeap.. i ask, he answers and he ASKS,and I answer, and it goes on. No kiddin! Lol. it has been fantastic bonding. Was really sad to have to leave again. Sigh.. feel so sorry for him.. all alone most of the time. Wish I could bring him with me to the UK.but somehow reality has it's own plans.mm... the World Cup was pretty exciting as well. Yupperz.. been a bad bad gurl.. betting on footie. ugh.. but its one of the main topics my dad n i talk about and bond over really. Haha and if u're wondering-yeap.. im pretty crap with footie knowledge.. but he's not much better-so we pretend we know a lot;) hahaa. moving along.. I went to Redang with cousins and it has been among the best holidays I've ever had. Hard to get into details and NO-THERE WEREN'T ANY HOTTIES ON THE BEACH TO GOGGLE OVER!:( hahah but still had a blast with my two funny,awesome,partyloving cuzzies who have much more in common with me than I'd like to admit.lol. (a lot of the things we have in common ain't all gud!) haha. oh n not forgetttin, the place was just.. one word - BREATHTAKING.
right.. got back to UK on Singapore Airlines. Lemme just say-it was TONS (or actually.. MORE THAN THT!) better than Malaysia Airlines, sadly, but honestly. If you've tried both of em, u'll understand. What's more it's actually cheaper to fly Sing Airlines now since the airport tax for MAS is rocketing upwards! So.. better AND cheaper. mm.. ain't it super? lol.
Back in the UK.. I'm still in York atm. Was redundant for a couple of weeks when I got back which was horrid cos I'm losing money when not working (opportunity cost!!). Anyhow.. got a few jobs in line now. Atm.. I'm working full time mon-fri as a legal sec in a pretty prestigious law firm. Burn & Co. it's a 9am-5pm job which is definitely a stroke of gud luck for me to land, as I have just about NIL experience with secretarial work. N the lady lawyer I'm supposed to assist is brilliant AND beautiful (Gawd, I sound dodgy!). Haha.. man.. no fair.. some gurls just have it all.. brauns AND brains. tsk tsk. Anyhow.. I got myself a bartending job as well in a pub near my place, but it's not giving me very many hours. Only 3 shifts a week (Tues nights, Sat & Sun aftnoons).. which leaves me plenty of free time and losing out on opportunity cost! Lol.. so next week i'm going for an interview for a nightclub bartending job, which if I land would give me an extra 16hours during the weekends.. (hours being 7pm-3am Sat & Sun). On TOP of tht, HOPEFULLY i can land a morning cleaning job.. it pays really good and I'm not gonna b taxed for it, AND the hours would be perfect.. just b4 work on Monday-Friday. it's 6am-8am. Perfect, eh? but I haven't gotten those jobs yet:( I do so hope I will. Whoever actually still bothers to check out my blogs, (hehe.. thanks for carin!) and DO pray for me! haha. I need it! Btw.. bet u're thinking-she;s DEFINITELY gone bonkers for working so hard-but really... I need the money and it's only gonna be for 4-5 weeks b4 uni starts.. so might as well make the most of it eh? I know... (psst!stop nagging!hehe) i might get sick again if i work too hard.. but who better to judge my ability than myself eh? Hehe.. as hardheaded and stubborn as I am.. i am aware of my body limits and if I can't take it, I wont:) No worries.
Ugh.. I've typed a lot haven't I? Ok.. gonna stop soon.
hm.. u've probably always thought I seem like a cheerful, nonchalant person. yeah well.. i've always wondered if it would be too sick n crazy to really blog what i go through n feel. n trust me, most of the time, it ain;t good:(
Nevertheless.. im trying out optimism! haha. lotsa peeps are goin through so so so much more shit than I m. I should really be thankful for all that I have and all the good fortunes God has graced me with:) (tell myself tht all the time to make myself feel better, but u know how it goes-everything's always easier said than done!)
I'm not gonna finish this blog on a depressing note!
I'm healthy and I'm working and I'm going to uni! So all's GOOD atm, AND THT'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT!! Hahaha.. hope all u guys are good too:) God bless ya peeps!*muaks!*

AHEM

2006-06-13T15:37:00.000+08:00

Gosh. It's been SO long since my last blog. Didn't manage to even log on and notice crap-holed ppl trying to taint it! mmm... busybodys with nothing better to do, I suppose. Anyway... SO much has changed... so much has happened!:) Don't even know where to start. In short, it has been FANTASTIC. hehe. Been to the UK n back.. been sorting out starting uni even. Mmm... health's been great... Faith, absolutely MINT. hahahah yeap. God's been reli reli good to me:) not sure i deserve all of His graces n the miracles He has bestowed on me to be honest:P anyhow, m now sorting things out for my degree in the UK, FINALLY! University of Leeds, Mathematics Undergraduate... which costs a BOMB. gonna need to work my ass off LITERALLY to make the fees and keep myself alive:P sigh.. but then.. where theres a will- theres a way, aint tht rite?:D besides... it makes me appreciate it more, and wont take my studies for granted like i used to. anyhow.. not gonna write a longgg blog. just thought i'd tell the idiots posting s2pid msges to (excuse me) F*CK OFF! hahaha:D

Thank God:)

2005-10-23T17:46:00.000+08:00

OK... october blog! hehe. sorry for the delay but too many things have been happening and been pretty busy as well. yeah well..seems like i've always been pretty busy lately eh?:P lol. anyhow... dunno where to start. m still working in innocraft but then change department. apparently im just TOO GOOD ok? hahahaha! im not doing the customer service down at the showroom where we have to deal with the customers face to face instead of just through the phone. so far.. it;s been great!(yea.. cos i've only been working for what.. like the past 6 hours or so?) lol. anyways.. place is great. got mtv to watch the entire day. when there aren't any customers (for example, now.. hehe) then we can just relax, surf the net or whatever. pretty cool eh? wait.. tht's not all.. the coolest part is.. u get rm80 a day for doing basically nothing. lol. is tht just cool or is it just COOL?:) keke. been pretty fortunate in jobs so far lar.. found gud ones with gud pay but the thing is im not tht bothered oso cos i know the timespan is short.. not a long term job thingy.. thts y, even if the job is a lil rough at times.. dun reli mind ler(of cos.. knowing me.. i complain a bit b4 i let it go lar!!;) ) but when it gets TOO rough.. i just QUIT.harhar.yesterday went for a choir competition.. represented my church. it was an inter-church competition thingy. we were actually pretty good and were expected to win.. but then.. SIGH... u din. reason?we din do an introduction or presentation before the singing to deliver the message of what our songs had to do with the theme of the competition. apparently, the theme is RELI RELI important. we weren't told.. and some more it's our church's first time joinin the choir competition:P so..the conclusion is.. we gathered.. choir singing is not just all about the singing:P still got all tht rubbish and of cos.. a lil politics:P dun think wanna post the political side of it in here.. TOO PUBLIC.lol;) STILL... had a lot of fun throughout the entire ordeal.made lotsa frens... got to know and closer to mere acquaintances from b4:) we had loadsa laughs and even arguments but.. at the end of the day.. basically.. we had tons of pure F-U-N:D wun change a thing about it.. except maybe the winning part:P hehe nevertheless.. i think most of us leartnt loads from losing to be honest:P but the most important thing is still.. at the end of everything.. thank God so much to allowing me another day to live, to love.. to cherish:)

p/s: sorry.. lazy to change font colours.. apologies abt the dullness:P keke

Circus Freak?

2005-09-16T17:21:00.000+08:00

OK... ample of time today... so gonna blog another recent happening. As you can see from the topic.. it's gonna b a lil freaky! Haha. Anyways, went for my monthly checkup yesterday as well as an ultrasound.. just to make sure liver/kidney etc are workin aite. Guess what I found out? I've got freaky kidneys. Hahaha... it's sorta called a "horseshoe" kidney I think. They function fine, but the shape and the placement is a bit distorted is all... There I was, on the ultrasound bed with this lady scanning my stomach area over and over and a bunches of doctors coming in and out, wondering aloud in speculation- "HORSESHOE KIDNEY AR? WHERE? LET'S HAVE A LOOK!"
RIGHTTTT! very nice... I was like a freaking circus character or STAR even! muahaha.Anyhow, it was DEFINITELY eye-opening for me! Crazy stuff wey! As you all probably already know, I am just so incredibly SPECIAL... and this is surely another plus on all my "special" traits!:D keke...

UPDATES!work+bday

2005-09-16T15:33:00.000+08:00

Hey people! I know, i know... been ages since i last blogged. been reli reli swamped with work! Anyways... UPDATES! hehe. have since finished my contract with Sri Aman school and of course, stopped working there:) Applied for a job at TGI Friday's. Got it. Quit in a week. Don't even get me started on WHY. Ugh, bottom line- VERY unhappy working there for TOO many reasons to even start counting! Hehe.. maybe im exaggerating but heck.. it's MYYYYY blog!:D keke! Anyhow, I heard about some promoting job which is basically ad hoc.. and the pay is incredible! It's RM75 per day plus commission. Managed to sell abt 20 facial vouchers which approximately brings in a commission of RM6 per voucher. ON TOP of the basic salary of RM75 per day. Hehe NOT BAD right??:D It IS tiring to an extent, but heck... too motivated to worry about the lousy hours I have to stand and undefinite amount of saliva+energy I invested in selling the vouchers:) Still! GOOD PAY GOOD PAY GOOD COMMISSION GOOD COMMISSION.. so... OK... nuf said!:D Have another job lined up next week. It's a company called Innocraft. Ppl who use Maybank and RHB credit cards shud know it! Hehe... it's a company that deals with the redemption stuff the credit cards when you collect reward points, etc etc... It's a part time thingy...just make fon calls. 3 days min each week.. rm 60 per day.. plus if I work 5 days consecutively.. I get rm 50 extra if I meet the target..(target pretty easy to reach!:D) So.. yea.. life's just been hectic but GOOD! Had my 21st bday recently... it was just FAB! Church friends ave me a surprise bday party night b4 my bday.. yeah.. nothing short of just SUPERB stuff! Also really touched as many remembered my lil old bday and even bothered to sms me:D so sweet... thanks y'all! Loadsa nice nice gifts frm sec school friends too. Ugh.. I should reallyyyy stop blabbing and get carried away with my words eh?:P Sorry peeps.. old habits die hard!!

TROUBLE

2005-07-02T12:44:00.000+08:00

So sorry.. haven't posted a blog for ages! Lol. Been seriously busy! Barely have time to kick back and relax, let alone come online and post blog. Hehe. But this busy is GOOD busy. Not stressed out at all, having the time of my life reli! Keke. Anyhow, been doing so many things lately and dont reli know where to start. Teaching has been as good as it gets for me really. Got in trouble last week though. Had a bone marrow aspiration done on Tuesday morning. In case u guys dunno what that is, it's basically where they get a sample frm the bone marrow and test it to see how the condition or state is.It's been 6 months since my transplant so it's sorta like standard procedure, wanna see how I'm doing n all. It's actually kinda painful thing so mum was just kinda paranoid about it and told me to just not go to school that day. I didn't really feel much pain that day to be honest and really wanted to go to school as I've already assigned the classes to do their debates. Conclusion- I went to school. But that's not the end of it. Mum insisted I go home early. I had to teach P.E during the last 2 periods of the day and mum sed I should just skip it. At first I felt really guilty and didn't wanna listen to her, but then... ya know ler... my LAZINESS kicked in! keke. So, I skipped the classes, telling the girls in that class to do their own stuff and try not to make noise. RIGHT. I might as well have not bothered walking all the way to the class to tell them that as they obviously won't listen, since I wasnt gonna b there anyways! Haha, it's like tellin a baby not to cry. SURE. But anyhow, I tried looking for the "penyelia petang" to tell her that I wanted to go back earlier but then I practically searched the entire school and couldnt find her. So much for all the effort! Lol:P My mum came to pick me up and I just left. A little while later, the school called and DEMANDED an explanation as to why I left earlier WITHOUT permission. Ugh.. wasn't pretty! I explained and they asked me whether I'm sure I still wanna continue teaching or if I wanna just concentrate on my treatments. Sigh! So I basically REALLY pathetically sed tht I still wanted to teach and the bone marrow thingy was a one-off thing which really is the TRUTH anyways! But that's basically what happened and I guess I was really at fault anyways, my mistake. Ugh but anyhow I'm still enjoyin being a teacher for now. Students try me at times, as they don;t think I deserve the same respect they show the older teachers. Cis! But they're still aite. Lol. I'm being freakin lenient, aren;t I?!! Sigh.. what to do? I'm just TOO NICE! muahahaha

Cell Group

2005-06-11T00:47:00.000+08:00

So far, I've joined two sessions of in two different cellgroups. The 1st was in USJ and the 2nd in Pantai Hillpark. M supposed to find one I'm comfortable with and stay with that one. I enjoyed both but I guess it's more practical to join the Pantai Hillpark one as it's a lot nearer to my place. Anyway,the meetings were, as a lot of things are to me these days- an eye opener. I realised how active the Catholic youth really are. I used to think, Catholics are doomed... the parishioners are all of the middle age generation and there were so little youth activites and everythin. How very very WRONG I was! There are still so so many Catholic youths who really believe in this religion and so strong in their mission to do God's will, spread God's word! I'm seriously impressed and very touched. I felt very drawn to the cellgroup meetings and indeed enjoyed them. To think that not too long ago, I was so lost and "blocked" from all these, all the wonders of God. I do feel that a lot of my opinions, thougths and believes have changed. Even habits to be honest! I used to always feel that going for mass was a drag, an obligation. But now, I'm so so happy to say that I actually look forward to mass! This has really been a REVELATION for me:) So far, even though I feel drawn towards the meetings and all... I have to admit, even with deep regret, that AT TIMES I sort of feel a lil left out and that I don't really belong among all the lifeliners. Most of them do really try to make me feel welcome and I do realise it but I guess I'm just still really new and bonds between people take time to grow strong eh? Hehe... anyhow, I honestly had a great time at the cellgroup meetings:D Looking forward to the next one!(Hmm... I'm looking forward to ALOT of things these days;)!)

Hip Hop!

2005-06-11T00:29:00.000+08:00

Last sunday was the 1st day of my AHEM... dance class. Lol. It's a hiphop dance class at Sunway. It's pretty cool to be honest and had a blast really:) Went with a friend I met in camp, Clair. Haha, apparently we both seem to have quite a bit in common! The class lasted for an hour. It's once a week at RM75per month. The place is called URBAN GROOVE. The place is really simple. The 1st time we went there to check it out, we couldnt even find it as it didnt even have a SIGNBOARD except a puny lil "sign" on the stairway leading up to the dance place. Lol. U'd think they could at least afford a lil signboard, collecting rm75 per student per month! Hehe, but anyhow, the place ain't bad:D At 1st I thought, 1 hour ONLY?! My main intention of joinin this dance class is to get a good workout (in other words, LOSE WEIGHT!keke) WHILE having fun! Not bad eh? The only downside to it is... it costs money. Sigh... but it's ok! At least it's worth it.. erm.. I HOPE:P
When the class 1st started, the instructor showed us the "VERY SIMPLE, BASIC" moves and we were all like.. oh yeah..REALLLL simple!NOT. Lol but then... he proceeded to teach us the moves step by step which then proved not hard at all:D Hehe... anyhow, not gonna get TOO detailed. Basically... I just had an absolute BLAST! How I wish it were twice a week or something! CANT WAIT FOR THE COMING CLASS!

Lil Kids+Art=?

2005-06-01T12:50:00.000+08:00

Last weekend, I taught an art & craft class to kids ranging from 5-11 years old. Haha, not in school, but in a tuition centre in Ampang. Freaking far from my place, I know... but I found the job vacancy in the newspapers and just thought I'd give it a shot. Those kids were just absolutely, TERRIBLY, FREAKINGLY cute and adorable! Sigh... don't know what's gotten into me. Absolutely love kids nowadays... lol. They were so INTO the art class and there was this lil girl from Sri Langka whose father is the ambassador or something, in my class, who is just about the smartest most MATURE 7year old I've ever seen. Her talent for art is AMAZING as well. I'd think 7 year old kids talk kiddish-style or something but her vocab is probably LARGER than mine when I was like 12 or something! Geez! There was this other kid, 4years old who wasn't officially part of the class but just joined for fun or something, who was just the CUTEST ever! He kept mumbling away... like he'd suddenly call out, "Teacher!", and when I answer him, he'd mumble away abt something he wants or whatever. Hahaha! Once he said, "I want rocket ship".. or more like MUMBLED it and I asked him to repeat it for several times before his older brother "translated" it for me! I could only just laugh my heart out there and then. Sigh... am loving the class to bits. The money isn't as great as the class is small, but I'm getting all the job satisfaction one can have from it:D U'd be surprise at the standard of art and the HEART the kids have for it... they put just about all their efforts into their picture and it's just absolutely breathtaking!What's more... they have got serious talent...

!!!!

2005-05-27T23:51:00.000+08:00

OK... all ya peeps who know me well and think it's IMPOSSIBLE for me to teach... having read the blog I just put up...just...

QUIT LAUGHING!

Teaching?

2005-05-27T23:14:00.000+08:00

Guess what. I'm currently teaching in an all girls school. Haha! Afternoon session- Form 1 and Form 2 kids. English and P.E! Muahaha. The pay's not as great, but the workload isn't much and hours pretty good too. Hehe, so far, have been teaching for 2 days and today celebrated Teacher's Day. Not bad wey... only been teaching for a couple of days and I still get presents! *wink* I must be good! Muahaha. Yeah right! But seriously, the girls are pretty nice, SO FAR! Polite and surprisingly quiet! Lol, I can't remember a single time I was EVER quiet back in secondary school! Kekeke.. and I won't have imagined in my lifetime, I would EVER become a teacher! But heck, I HOPE I won't really end up being one. Just for killing time and in between whatever I'm doing, should be aite... but for life- UH-UH:P Am temporarily taking the place of a teacher who's on 3 months labour leave or something. Her table is INCREDIBLY messy and I didn't have the chance to talk to her about what I'm supposed to do, teach and everything. Am pretty lost but then, it's enables pretty good excuses when I make mistakes!:D The students have just been great so far... but the other TEACHERS! Ugh... SOME of them are so two-faced, you just feel like puking. Their fake smiles and everything! Geez... it's not like you HAVE to smile at me if you totally hate to!:P Sigh.. but what to do? The other temporary teachers who are around my age are just leaving as their teachers have returned from the courses. So I'll be pretty lost and alone! Man... I'm SO not looking forward to the next 3 month! The school has completely CRAZY rules, not just for the students- even the teachers! Teachers cant wear PANTS to school.. ONLY skirts! And the skirts must be AT LEAST knee length-oklah.. tht one understand ler.. short skirts r not the way to go in schools:P When I teach PE.. I have to wear TRACKBOTTOMS! Dya know how HOT it is?!! Crazy peeps! It's not like as if I wear like mini shorts or anything.. they're BASKETBALL SHORTS sum more.. like knee length! Oso cannot! GEEZ! hahahaha seems like I'm complaining a lot. Heck.. that's just me ain't it? Hehe.. anyhow, I'm still having a good time so far. Hopefully I won't get too stressed out from all the rubbish they throw at me, but revel and learn from it!:D kekeke.. so INSPIRING! All in all.. just a lil update on my current situation- no more rotting... FOR NOW.

Youth Camp

2005-05-24T13:42:00.000+08:00

Just got back from a weekend in Kajang and Bukit Jalil Putra Stadium. Lol. It was a youth camp for the Golden Jubilee, celebrating 50 years of the KL Archdiocese (Catholic Church). Hehe. Was good fun! Pretty hectic and tiring, COULD have been more fun but then, I ain't complaining! Met so many new people, new friends and had an absolute BLAST! Praise and worship was good and I KNOW I'm being the dumb-ass, ignorant self that I always seem to be, cos I really didn't know the Catholic Church had such a happening group of followers, MUSIC and all that! It's definitely ALL THAT! hehe. Gotten to know the youth of my church better and I must say, it was a real eye-opener, seeing people who have hectic work/study schedules and yet have time for God, for spreadin His word and all that. There were some who were really active and even been to urban places in Sabah and all just to visit and help out with the people there who are short in supplies, resources and education. They travel a long distance just to get to those places. Get this- ON FOOT. They really have my full respect. SALUTE!:D Anyhow, I'm really missing the friends I made there and I do hope I can really live up to what we all said about meeting up again for bball(yeah! I found some bball kaki there!muahaha) or movies or just yamcha kua? We got to stay with a host family during the camp and the family I was assigned to was just superb. The house, was.. (this is an understatement) BIG and BEAUTIFUL. lol. They aunty and uncle were perfect and they had 3 grandchildren who were just adorable. Hahaha, funny and no doubt- NAUGHTY brats! Haha, but still- cute;) We didn't get much time to just hang mostly cos activities were really packed and all...we barely got much sleep, so when I got back... slept the entire evening, night and morning after away:P Hehe.. but still.. as hectic and as tiring as it was, it was a great use of time and energy:) For all you Catholics out there who only go to church on Sundays (or maybe less), and never get involve in youth activities or anything, you're really missing out! Lol and we used to complain that Catholic Church is so boring and all tht, it's the evidence or utter ignorance and SIMPLE WE-DIDN'T-KNOW! hehe lame excuse but true! But really, DO find out about your church's youth programme and people, you'd be surprised!:) AS HAPPENING AND AS GREAT as ever! Take it from me- critic and fun-CRAVING by nature!;)

Hometown

2005-05-06T17:49:00.000+08:00

Went back to Kuching recently for a week. At 1st, was not too impressed. It was as boring as ever. Slow, just simply a drag. Wanted terribly to get back to KL. But then, FRIENDS happened. BASKETBALL happened. FUN happened. Lol and the rest was history. Had an awesome time back home, hanging out with old friends and all that. Early mornings, breakfast, badminton, bball! mmm! (In KL.. breakfast doesn't exist, at the earliest-there's brunch!) LOL. Lazy WORMS. keke. Bball was quite a stressful thing though. Am SERIOUSLY rusty now, what with the LOUSY AS HELL stamina and all. What's more- MUM issue. Had to go behind her back when I went off playing bball. If she knew.. I'd be as good as dead. Yeah well.. am not really supposed to play sports I guess (according to the Chinese physician!*gag*) Sigh.. too bad. Deaf ears. I love that game (is that not the NBA advert caption? keke) But just when the fun started, it had to end:( Regretted terribly abt my changing my air ticket so I could get back to KL earlier. Sigh. Anyhow, am back in KL now, going back to routine rotting:P I NEED my ASTRO! haha! Getting back to KL.. it's a really 360degrees turnaround, gonna have to transit back to the clubbin,karaoke-ing,shopping,movie watching,ROTTING chick as opposed to the bball-ing,badminton-ing,hanging,EARLY RISER chick:P ugh... my KL alter-ego sounds so horribly unhealthy!hahaha:P Anyhow, suddenly clubbing doesnt seem to have that attractive hold on me anymore. But I doubt it would last. It'll be back! hahaha!;)

Letdown

2005-04-25T22:44:00.000+08:00

Motorola party was a letdown. Sigh...was so hyped about winning prizes n all tht, but turned out, the main highlight of the whole darn thing was the supposedly hot dj who was alright but not what I'd been expecting:P Blek... there weren't any prizes to win and the party seemed pretty boring. Didn't give it half a chance to be honest as friends took one look at it and decided to search for a more happening club. Ended up in Thai Club. It was TOO happening (if there reli is such a thing!) and so crowded it was almost impossible to WALK let alone dance! Lol.. and it was FREAKING hot! One of my friends was sweating his ass off and we decided to leave after a lil while. Overall.. the night was pretty much a failure. Still.. had fun with friends, so it wasn't THAT bad. Anyhow, the following Saturday, which was 2 days ago, mum went off to Genting, so it was basically.. FREEDOM! hehe.. went off clubbin at Atmosphere as we had to pay for cover charge if we wanted to go RUSH. A friend's friend could bring us in Atmosphere for free, so guess that was our only option as we were all basically broke:P Sadly, another letdown. Music was horrible. No, that's an understatement! But then, it wasn't TOO bad either, thanks to great friends who always seem to make my day anyhow:D Ooo and of course, there was this absolutely GORGEOUS guy there! Yummy! Hahaha, but sadly, didn't get to see that much of him that night:( Still.. clubbin disasters seem to be haunting me outside of RUSH. Need my weekly dosage of RUSH bebeh! Lights, Music, PARTY!

Motorola Party!

2005-04-15T20:39:00.000+08:00

Went to RUSH again last night. Had another blast! Lol but didn't manage to find a bf in time:( keke yesterday night, the prize money was RM1000! bloody bf-less state! haha. The challenge for yesterday night was for the bf to unclasp the bra of their girls. Lol. Obviously, the fastest wins. The winner was pretty fast! ^_^ hahaha! Anyhow, the main subject of this blog is about the Motorola party. Haha. Wednesday night, I managed to get through to the 8TV Quickie and won some tickets to the party which is to be held at Twelve S.I tommorow night. Initially, it wasn't the prize I was aiming for. I wanted movie tickets but as it happens, it's not easy at all to get through to 8TV, so am EXCITEDLY thankful to get the tickets anyhow:) But the main prize I want is the Motorazr V3 phone which I'm sure evryone else wants as well! sigh... and because I went out clubin last night, I missed the Quickie and do not know what the question was as we have to collect the questions for the entire week to win the phone at the end of it:( Heck.. I doubt I can get through anyways! Hopefully there're things (PHONES PHONES PHONES!) to win at the party itself:P Hehe. Will blog the party experience the next time. Till then.. PARTY ON peeps:D

Long nights...

2005-04-14T05:34:00.000+08:00

Sigh. Another one of those nights where I just can't seem to sleep. Bloody Starbucks coffee at 3pm! Cost me a BOMB and deprived-off-sleep side effect!:P Lol but then... YUM YUM! muahaha. Don't mind me. Though used to my nocturnal habits, I don't doubt I get a lil wacky this early in the morning. IF ONLY I HAVE ASTRO. ugh...

RUSH

2005-04-13T23:53:00.000+08:00

Finally! Been a lil quiet lately. Mostly kinda lazy to come online as com connection pretty slow. What can you expect from a dial up network?:P But anyhow, mum went back home to kuching for a week and I had a hell of a blast for that week! Hehe:D Hanging, catching up.. mostly- CLUBBIN! muahaha. had a BOMB bebeh! RUSH at Eastin Hotel. Happening as anything. One of the best times I've had clubbin so far. Not counting of cos, clubbin in UK:P But still.. it was pretty good for Malaysian standards. They had a few question-answer games in which I participated in. More like LITERALLY pushed into it! haha. Still.. it was a really simple question. Only needed to gather enough guts to go on stage to answer the darned thing. Lol. At 1st we were very reluctant in even trying to answer those questions. See, the sponsor of the games thingy was this sanitary napkins company and the main reason of our reluctance was the fact that I thought their prizes were probably things like a year's supply of sanitary napkins, and to be honest, we weren't keen or really bothered about that many napkins!:P hehe, it's not totally unreasonable thinking, was it? But they turned out to be rm50 cash vouchers at Giant's supermarket. I guess there're always things to get at supermarkets anyway, so I went for it:) Then there was this programme where the guys had to do a sorta strip tease dance thingy and they literally had to STRIP to their undies. Hahaha. WHAT A VIEW. For once, its GUYS strutting their STUFF and girls sitting back and enjoying the show;) Not bad at all!
There was a rm500 up for grabs at one point of the night but we needed a boyfriend. SIGH. Planning to go again soon, need to find a bf b4 that! hahaha:D
I was just reading someone else's blog about rush, warning females about the washroom. It's said that there's this blue fountain thingy seperating the guys and the gals' washrooms and the guys can see the gals clearly from their side while the gals cant do the same. Thing is, that's entirely not true. We can see the guys just as clearly, really. So there. Maybe with the guys "supposedly starring", there will be less of a crowd in the washroom as gals might feel self concious spending too much time trying to touch up on your make up and all that:D Anyhow, thursday night- ladies night- a good deal to spend your night at RUSH @ Eastin Hotel!

So dumb?!!

2005-03-25T13:15:00.000+08:00

A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over.When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket.He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde,'Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!'.He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats.When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, 'Oh you think that's funny?Watch this!'He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car.When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face.He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires.Now she's laughing.The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire.He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.'What's so funny?' the truck driver asked the blonde.
She replied, 'Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle!!

>>it's like.. wtf??!! hahahaha

While we're on the subject...

2005-03-21T14:30:00.000+08:00

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
Its better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride.
Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.
What do you do when the only person that can stop you crying, is the person that made you cry?
It hurts to love someone and not to be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally do meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.
We spend so much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead, we should be perfecting the love we give.
Some thoughts are better left unsaid, some feelings are better left kept to your self, but love has its way of expressing itself despite the silence.
When you truly care for someone, you don't look for faults... you don't look for answers, you don't look for mistakes. Instead, you fight the mistakes, you accept the faults, and you overlook excuses.
The measure of love is when you love without measure.
In life, there are very rare chances that you'll meet the person you love and who loves you in return. So once you have it, dont ever let go. The chance might never come your way again.
Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back.
Don't expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their hearts; but if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours. It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone - but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
Love comes to those who still hope even though they've been disappointed; to those who still believe even though they've been betrayed; to those who still need love even though theyve been hurt before.
The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not twist them with our own image -otherwise, we love only our own reflection ofourselves that we find in them.
You cannot finish a book without closing its chapters.If you want to go on, then you have to leave your past as you turn the pages of life.
Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
Never say goodbye when you still want to try - never give up when you still feel you can take it - never say you don't love that person anymore when you don't really want to let go.
Friendship beings with a smile, Love begins with a kiss, Life ends with a tear; the brightest; future will always be based on forgotten past.
You can't get on well in life until you let go of your past failures and headaches.
Everything is ok in the end; If it's not ok it's not the end.

Love?

2005-03-15T19:51:00.000+08:00

How r you SURE you've found love? What if u thought you're so in love when u're with this one person and the relationship doesn't work out in the end, and the "feeling" slowly disappears (or abruptly, whichever..) Is there really something called falling OUT of love? Is that special kinda love only meant for ONE special person? soulmate? If so, then how dya explain if the relationship doesnt work out? The person wasn't your soulmate after all? But u were so sure u were in love DURING the relationship, no? So what is it, the love wasn't real? U just stopped loving? Can you really love more than one person in your entire life.. of course, when I say love, I mean the kind of love you give a partner instead of family&friends. Is there really something called "love at first sight"? So many questions, so many ambiguities, getting a lil dizzy:P Most of those questions I have yet to really find out myself, but one thing's for sure- I don't think there is such a thing as "love at first sight". It's either it was mere infatuation, or lust in a more crude sense;) , but not love.. at first sight of course. Then maybe after getting to know each other and all that, THEN maybe the L factor occurs:) But heck, I just could be wrong!
But honestly, how r u SURE u've fallen in love? Whenever u're in a relationship, a serious one at that of course... u'd definitely think this surely IS love, ain't it? But then, if and when the relationship ends, u think... was I really in love then? U think back on all the times, good and bad, the times u 1st met, the courtship or whatever may be... and wonder, how, when the L factor appeared, and if it ever did! During the relationship, u'd think- I'm so happy, I'm all that, so it really must be love. But then after the "ordeal", after whatever hurt or tears, if there were any... and u've really gotten over the whole thing, u think back on the whole thing and the person u were with. It probably isn't the same for everyone, but sometimes after the relationship, u manage to stay friends with the ex-es, it's like... (SOME ex-es!) u can't even see WHAT the heck you had in common before! N of course if there IS a "falling out of love" thingy going on, u think.. what the heck didya think the love was based on? Hmm... but then again there're some other ex-es, when the relationship is over... only dya really see you have so much more in common or can get along with so much better than when u were IN the relationship. But then, it didn't work out either, did it? But I guess being in love and being in a relationship is two different things. Love is so much easier, isn't it? without thinking about the future, the consequences and all that, whereas being in a relationship, there's all that rubbish than ruins the "MAGIC". Lol. Hmm.. but while we're still on the subject of HOW SURE U'RE IN LOVE, there're some ppl who seem to still dwell on past relationship, or ex-es... even with the relationship broken up long ago and does not seem to have a prospect of a renewal of it of any kind. THEY claim that it was love, and that's why they can't let go. Hm... love or just plain stubbornness, or even better-kiasuness?:P *shrug* And then, there's the other part, does love only exist when BOTH ppl feel the same way? or can it live by ONE of the two ppl involved feeling so? I think really being in love needs both ppl feeling the way, or else if only one person feels that way, won't the love be exhausted in the end? how much can one love another without getting any back? but then, u read and u hear about all that.. one sided love which lasts forever, APPARENTLY, and when they SUPPOSEDLY last forever, it's genuine love. yeah right! if u ask me, it's a load of crap. Sometimes, u think... maybe the whole "LOVE" thing doesnt really exist! it's just some rubbish some smut thought to commercialise and torture others with!;) hmm.. n then there's the part where who cares about my opinion n my views anyways right?? ;D

Women Talk (quite true!)

2005-03-06T12:48:00.000+08:00

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and You need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

Death?

2005-03-01T19:45:00.000+08:00

Ever wondered what it would be like to die? lol. when you're sick, the possibility of it dawns on u, and it gets pretty suffocating. I've always wondered, what it's really like, dying. Would it be fast? Would it be painless? Or would it be terrible.. excruciating pain, and lasting what seems like forever? I've always heard that dying from cancer is really painful and horrible, but I do hope that all those who have passed on because of the bloody lousy illness have not suffered that much. It seems like most of my blog is sorta "dedicated" to sad and depressing things eh? My apologies, but blogs are supposed to be where u just write whatever u're thinking of ain't it? Well, my days and nights are sorta filled with thoughts like this, and nothing much else is happening around me... so I guess its just about all i can really talk about. Anyhow, I just had some bad news as to my own battle. Blood report this week hasn't been good and doc sez if it persists as of next week, then it could be a cause of concern. At this moment, I don't know, I guess I'm supposed to be really distraught and all, but I think I'm probably just immune to it already, receiving bad news about my health and all. Another is probably the fact that, though the news might not be the best, I'm still really lucky- I'm still really blessed. I see others that are in HORRIBLY HORRIBLY worse conditions than I am in and I couldnt ever comprehend the extent of their sufferings even. Just one month in the hospital is enough to have driven me to the brink of madness, imagine having to be stuck there for fucking 4 months(currently what the lady who had the transplant before me is going through)! I'm still really well, eating well, sleeping well enough... alive and kicking:D AND still feeling the terrible effects of boredom, so... I guess I'm still good, still lucky and should be really thankful as for now.
(WARNING:for those too freaked out to read about sickly details and have weak hearts, or past heart conditions,or erm..stomach conditions? lol, DO NOT read on.)
Before, say... during my initial treatments, when I came closest, probably in my entire life, to death... I was really really terrified. Every cell in my body was trembling with the fear that I would die. I wasn't ready, I thought then, if I were to have to meet the Lord. I really feared as to where I'd end up if I die and how lonely and lost I'd probably be. It was honestly one moment which I was most scared in my life, however short it might have been. There I was, coughing out blood every other minute and feeling like I was gonna pass out soon. My mum was calling me on the phone, as she was all the way in Kuching,still working... and I was in the hospital alone. I was so scared I won't be able to see her before I die... and I thought, I don;t wanna die all alone. I didn;t have the energy to speak to her with the splitting headache and all that, with the STUPID handphone battery giving up on me as well, so I just told her, "Mum, I can't take this anymore." I think she was probably even more sick to her stomach than I was. Apparently she frantically got my aunty and all who were in KL to rush to see how I was doing, and she got my dad to come with her to see me in KL. I guess I managed to get through that scary bout, as when most of the motley crew got to me, I was already stable, not coughing out the rubbish anymore, and managing to not look like I was gonna die just then. Lol. Guess I shouldn;t really ramble on as there's just TOO TOO much to tell really.. my experiences. But the thing is, now... after what, almost 2years of battling this, I've sorta gotten immune to bad blood reports and all, and though it's not really all that long, 2years... I'm sorta tired, really to go to anymore "wars". One thing though, right now, if faced with the possibility of death, I doubt I'd be that scared anymore. Back then, my faith wasn't strong AT ALL and I knew, if I died then, I couldn't face God... I was totally not ready. Now, even though I dare not say I'm all that religious, I'm not afraid anymore. Even if there isn't a place for me in heaven... I'm sure Jesus would be with me:) And I know... I'm in safe hands. Sounds like I'm all resigned and giving up? No... I'm not about to. I know I still have to fight, if not for me, at least for people who love me, esp Mum.. she's sacrificed so much. But sometimes, you can't control your own destiny,can you? Life is in God's hands, and I'm gonna accept whatever His will has planned for me. Hope you guys don't get too freaked out, reading this. I warned ya!;) Cheers!

Questions questions!

2005-02-22T17:54:00.000+08:00

Today has been good:) went for hospital checkup again, only this time didn't see many sad or pitiful patients, which is really good.hehe. esp happy cos prayers have been answered, at least a lil.. one of the patients who caught some lung infection some time ago and was in pretty bad condition the last time I saw her, has finally been discharged and looked well again. So very happy for her:) hmm.. lent season peeps! time for repentance! what you all giving up for lent anyhow?:D all or at least most of you all out there should b well on your way towards ur future occupation or whatsoever, doing your degree and moving along and all that. i havent started my degree yet, as most of you would know:( sorta had a few ideas of what i wanted to study b4 this, but then... after getting sick and all, m not sure anymore. what dya think guys? any ideas what I should do? what suits me...?:P

Break

2005-02-20T15:55:00.000+08:00

Ok.. enough with the depressing stuff. Read some jokes off friendster and thought i'd post a few here:) most of them are SO stupid, it makes the joke hilarious:P lol

STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in! one ear and comes out of theother.HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out ofthe mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"Pupil : "The moon".Teacher : "Why?"Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun givesus light only in theday time when we don't need it".

Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are nolonger interested?"Pupil : "A teacher".

My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called currentaffairs.

Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"Sam : "It's a family tradition".Teacher : "What do you mean?"Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".Teacher : "What about your mother?"Sam : "She's a woman".

Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of tenpeople die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".

Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherrytree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

Part II

2005-02-18T16:10:00.000+08:00

Woke up this morning to a phone call from a friend I made in the hospital. Her mum was admitted for multiple myeloma(another form of blood cancer). She called me to inform me about the death of another patient. This one girl, I think she's only about 28years or so, married but well...luckily, in a way, she hasnt had kids yet. I got to know her the 1st time I got admitted into the hospital in KL. She suffered from Lymphoma, yet another branch of blood cancer. She was diagnosed about a little more than a year ago. Since then, she's gone through her share of pain and torment. She suffered from a relapse at one time too. Just 2 days ago, when I was in the hospital for routine checkup, she was still fine, or so I heard cos I didn't go seeor talk to her then. She supposedly suffered from some form of allergy towards some medication as she was having diarrheoa throughout Tuesday night and on Wednesday, she was wheeled to the "critical patients" part of the ward and this morning (Thursday morn), she passed away. These days, whenever I go to the hospital, I just see so, so many painful things. People I got to know better over the past year, suffering... it's really hard, and very depressing. Recently, a girl my age, who used to be my roommate or so some time ago in the hospital, passed on too. She suffered from leukaemia too. When I met her, she was only going through her 2nd chemotherapy round. She had about 3 more to go I think. The time when I was in the room with her, she did relatively well and everything. She was a very pleasant, very sweet, soft-spoken and pretty girl. Yeah, everything nice. She had a boyfriend who came everyday to be with her without fail, and really cared for her a great deal. I used to feel quite jealous looking at the both of them. Her family, esp her dad, obviously loved her a LOT as well, but I imagine most parents would. I wasn't in the hospital when she passed on. I only heard about it a few days later when I went for my checkup. I arrived that day and I was looking through the whiteboard in the front of the ward where they write the in-ward patients names on. I felt a lil weird when I didn't see her name on it as I knew she shouldn't have been discharged yet as she just only went through her chemotherapy. I then went to ask one of the nurses and she promptly told me that my friend had passed on. I was so shocked. Before that, I haven;t really faced a death of someone who I was pretty close to. Nurses sed that she got septic, which is where the blood pressure suddenly just plunges and they'd need oxygen n all. Most patients, when they get to the critical part, they usually need the oxygen. Some of them come out of it, but I think most of them don;t make it. The girl, my friend had a relapse after her 2nd or 3rd chemotherapy and she didn't take it well apparently. She was just really small sized and fragile, I guess it was just too much for her. She was really pleasant,
and understood me really well as we were sorta going through the same things, the only down side of our friendship being that she spoke mandarin and mine's not great whatsoever:P so there was A LIL communication problem. But I miss her, when I go to the hospital and all esp. Those 2 girls I mentioned, they were strong spirited, had lotsa faith and were all special people. I do hope that they rest in peace and are in heaven where they belong, no more suffering, no more illnesses, no more sadness. I only hope their loved ones will be able to accept God's will. Do pray for the other patients still in the hospital, they do need God's mercy, as I've experienced through n through cos I have u guys out there always praying for me, and which I'm so so thankful for. Love you guys.

Part I

2005-02-16T15:42:00.000+08:00

All my life I’ve never been a very religious person at all. Ya know, the kind who only prays during trials, exams and stuff like that. Didn’t use to look forward to going to church every week either. During my A-Level years, I can practically count the times I went for church, as well as the times I really prayed. Being a selfish Christian that I was, I could only pray for myself, and only during trials & tribulations (esp exams). Sigh. I learnt my lesson. The hard way, I suppose. Not too long ago, I got myself pretty sick. Am not entirely sure if it’s really my own doing or it’s in the genes or whatever, but it was pretty bad. The past two years have been a REAL eye opener. It has made me learn a lot about life and death, troubles and sadness, maturing, and especially, it has made me draw closer to God. Not trying to preach here or anything, don’t think I’ve got the capabilities to anyways:P But anyhow, throughout those hard times, I’ve met all sorts of people and started to realize, the world is full of sorrows, hardship and the things I’ve always taken for granted can be taken away in just a flash. Never in my entire life would I ever imagine to be in this situation. It gets me pretty down when I see and hear of my friends around me going away, furthering their education or getting on with life so well… but then, when I go to the hospital and see other patients who are in far, far worse conditions than I am in, I get so thankful that God at least has been merciful to me and did not put me through too rough or hard a test. It’s also made me realize and treasure the people around me, especially my family. Mum’s been the best. She’s just about sacrificed everything in order to take care of me. Honestly don’t know what I’d do if I were without her. Watching people around me lose their loved ones all the time is horrible. It’s really scary to think that life, as most normal people would take for granted is so very fragile. You’d never know when your time is up, and when it is, you can’t exactly say you don’t wanna leave or are not ready or any rubbish liddat. Whenever I used to receive emails or stuff like that about treasuring the people you have around you and always telling them you love them before its too late or all that, I never gave it a second thought or considered it much at all. But seriously people, these things- ARE NOT to be taken for granted. Don’t take life for granted. Don’t take people around you for granted. And more than ever, DON’T take your health for granted.
to be continued...

And it goes on

2005-02-10T18:57:00.000+08:00

COLLEGE. Best time I've ever had! FREEDOM+FUN. Perfect combination!:D The only downside to it was, it only lasted for a year and half. GONE were the days when I had to DRAG myself up at the wee hours of the morning to go to school. Rubbish system! Still had to get up pretty early in my opinion as some classes start at 8am. But the good side- could get away with skipping classes here and there (In my case-it was more like almost all the time!:P). Lol. But luckily enough, I managed to get through A Levels as well. Honestly, I think I miss college life the most. Everyone says uni life is even better, but I won't know. YET. Hopefully it's as good or not, even better!;) STILL got picked on by teachers, though can't really be blamed- STILL slept in class and skipped some quite a bit. Met a few really hilarious friends. There was this one guy who used to bug me about Math homework ALL THE TIME cos HE'S ALWAYS picked on by the math teacher for some unknown reason too. Hahaha, now THAT was utterly riotous! Me being the GOOD girl that I am, manage to get math homework done, well, MOST of the time... would be his ONLY salvation as he could never be bothered with them but was always asked for his homework by the teacher. Lol the things and names the guys used to call the teacher! tsk tsk! Haha! But anyways, that guy was just side-splitting FUNNY! Really articulate as well, so the things he comes up with, things he sez and stuff with the other 2 guys in math class- adds laughter to my days without fail each time! The thing is, you'd probably think from the way I've portrayed his Math-subject ways, he'd probably be a horrible student. THINK AGAIN. He never does his work, almost has NO IDEA what teacher is talking about or teaching in class most of the time... but when it comes to exams- DAMN! He scores like mad! So unfair, don't ya think? But I gotta give it to him- he's a pretty smart fella. Sigh.. college- late nights, really close friends, BIG2 (CHO TAI TI!) muahaha. Those were the days!

Blahh...

2005-02-10T18:15:00.000+08:00

Getting a lil bored about telling my life story, esp of the long past:P But ANYHOW, secondary school wasn't much of an adventure. Grew up. Matured. Had less "FUN"! Spent of my time, then, playing basketball. Nothing too interesting to share there. Had plenty of good times with friends. Close friends suddenly evolve around my basketball. Lol. Man, I miss the game. sighz.
Still never paid much attention to schoolwork, it's a wonder I made it through the whole academic years. Used to go into class and fall fast asleep. Could pull it off for almost every class with the exceptions of a few where I'd be "trying" to pay attention with my eyes half opened. Lol quite sure I'm not the only one around doing that,eh?;) Remember back then, almost half of the class used to hold a "discreet" sleeping competition. For some obscure reason, me and the girl next to me used to get picked on by teachers just about ALL the time. Hahaha, even with me being more matured, things just don't change- will forever be on teachers' pick-on list. Lol. SAD.

Hence...

2005-02-10T13:17:00.000+08:00

Moving along. Primary School was a joke. All fun n never work:D was really well known for my notoriety back then, not that much has changed since then.heh heh. anyways, I bet one of my teachers there would remember me 4ever, if not all of them:P there was this once when i was SORTA wrongly (in my opinion) punished by this one teacher and i was obviously just reli pissed off, so i wrote this letter with ALL the vulgarity i could muster about the teacher and passed it to a friend. just letting off steam ya know. haha i think i didn't even understand MOST of the words i used on her really. anyhow, my dear friend slipped the note into her textbook and we all conveniently forgot about it. i just had to be reallyyy lucky for one tht very day, the prefects decided to perform a spot check on our class. n while i'm still on my lucky bit, who had to come along and find the note? This horrible nosy teacher’s-pet-goody-two-shoes-MY-worse-nightmare girl, no monster prefect. She apparently found the note stuck in between the textbook and of course, it landed in the teacher’s hands, and then later on, the principal’s desktop. Haha, of course, I was brought to see the principal and they called my parents, the works. Mum came and I was forced to say SORRY to the teacher. Lol. Okay, so the note was mean and I should be sorry. But anyhow, mum wasn’t all that pissed off at me, thank God! Haha apparently she never had good relationships with her teachers back when she was in school, so there! Lucky me again:D That nosy prefect then decided to call me that night and APOLOGIZE. Haha hilarious isn’t it? And as I’m just the NICEST person ever, I said it was fine. YEAH RIGHT! Hm… she might be reading this, so I’m not gonna trample on her some more. Heh heh. Oh, and guess what, she’s one of my closest friends now. Haha, but it was a really gradual, SLOW process cos she changed a lot from primary school to sec school. Now she’s just about the TOTAL opposite of what she used to be. talk about PEOPLE CHANGING! Was quite “adventurous” too… used to go visit the graveyard behind the church next to my primary school where I think the big names were being buried. Lol. With a couple of mental friends. Pretty crazy when I think back on it, “trekking” through the tombstones, peering into them, reading the wordings inscribed and by the time I finished primary school, could practically remember most of them. Yeap, definitely pretty mental! Kids… tsk tsk!

The Beginning

2005-02-06T14:23:00.000+08:00

Was born on 28th August 1984... few days before our proud Merdeka celebration anniversary, but heck.. I'm not big on erm.. nationalism?(lol.. what dya call being really loyal n all that to your own country?) But anyways, survived kindergaten, with all its naive fun and laughter. Don't remember much about those 3 years except my kindy teacher.. I think it was during my 2nd year, was not all that nice:P I can remember her name and can even imagine her appearance as clear as ever up till now, so you can imagine the IMPACT she has on my life, lol. Up until now, I still think she should not have been put in charge of kindergaten kids. Fine, so I wasn't the best of students (hahah, ok...understatement there:P) but still.. I was only, what.. 5 years old? She had this tendency of throwing our homeworks onto the floor from her table oh-so-way-up-high there when she wasn't satisfied with our work. Then she would scream at us or whatever. Hmm... but I think she never resorted to THE CANE, if I remember correctly, thank God! lol. Kindergaten... I can remember one of my classmates, who came to school one day with her lady finger in a cast and had her hand in a sling. Quite a sight. Lol. Apparently, she decided to stick her finger into a spinning standing fan and of course, did some damage to her finger. I don't really know the extent of the "damage" but I think it wasn't completely cut off cos it she still has 5 fingers on each hand now:) While we're on the crazy things kids to do themselves out of curiosity, I've a dear story of my own. Lol, not too proud of it cos it IS pretty stupid. Anyways, there was this one lovely day when I was playing with a stapler. Yeah.. the kind u use to staple pieces of paper together. Then my little curious, VERY naive mind wondered, what it would be like to STAPLE my fingernail. Haha. I didn't cut OFF my fingernails and THEN staple them, but instead I just punched the staple into my fingernail while it's STILL on my finger. Pretty bright little mind, eh?:P Of course, it hurt like hell and blood flowed... the works. Sigh... kids. Never really understood or particularly liked the phrase, "Curiosity killed the cat" but curiosity certainly killed a little naivety! :)

Intro

2005-02-04T01:57:00.000+08:00

Heya.
This is going to be short. For people who know me well... the word "short" when it comes to me writing whatever never seems to ring true. Lol. But really, this time, I'll make it simple. I try. Name's Sandra Wong. Turned 20 (19 to 20 is such a transition, one day you're still thinking, rubbish teenage years and the next day, damn! I'm 20... I'm getting old:P) not too long ago. Hope I can share with you some of my experiences which have really opened my mind AND eyes to the real world. Life's really not as simple as most normal people like you think. There are some rough edges which you tend to overlook and not heed. Think twice about things that you do, stuff that you eat and RUBBISH you take which might put your health at risk. Think THRICE even. In the next few blogs, I'll try to explain why. Stay tuned.